i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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