I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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