Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
