Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
and you fell through a lawn chair
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
