Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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