Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize