I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
