I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
