he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
