No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
