I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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