She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
