imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
