So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
