we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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