Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
