peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I think my vagina is haunted
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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