my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
