I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Someone shattered a urinal.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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