just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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