I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
ok first of all what the fuck
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
