there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
