Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Bring me that man meat
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
