Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
