and next time when you feel me up, do it right
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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