Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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