It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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