when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
