btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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