You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
