so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
