saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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