I hope mine doesn't look like that
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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