Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
