Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
