i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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