I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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