Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
