omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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