her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
