I don't usually arrange sex via text message
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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