We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
