from now on my penis is your penis
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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