i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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