I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
