I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
