alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
