i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
