glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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