Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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